Translated into Chinese by Chen-ou Liu
ballerinas
rehearsing in the park
i never knew
there were so many
graceful ways to die
A Hundred Gourds, 3:3, June 2014
Chen-ou Liu's comments:
Strategically speaking, through a pivot on the unexpected (L3) to uncover the existential/inevitable aspect of the human condition, Debbie's tanka effectively builds, poetic phrase (ku)/line by poetic phrase (ku)/line, to a thematically significant and emotionally powerful ending that has the most weight and reveals the theme of death (or more precisely, of the relationship between art and death).
By the way, I think the ballet referred to in the upper verse might be "Swan Lake."
*note from me: this tanka does indeed refer to "Swan Lake"
So beautiful!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for taking the time to comment, my friend. I appreciate the feedback more than I can say! all the best for 2017, Debbie
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